7 Blended Family Tips for Stepmoms
Being a stepmom is not an easy task and certainly is not for the weak. There are blended families that flow smoothly and then there are blended families that never actually blend. Do you find yourself struggling in your role as a stepmom? When people hear the word "stepmother" they automatically think of "wicked" from the childhood fairy tales. Well, wicked should be replaced with Warm-Hearted because most stepmoms are.
Here are a few humble tips I have to share:
1. Set Boundaries - Stepmoms, be clear with yourself and family. Respect applies to your spouse, children, step-children, other parent and in-laws. Make it known what is and is not okay with you. Set your boundaries and stick to them.
2. Don't Pressure Your Husband into Choosing Sides - Putting your man in situations between you and his children where he feels like he must choose, is terrible and crucial for your man and his children.
3. Give Your Spouse Space - Let your Husband have time alone with his child(ren). Be supportive to your husband as he build a relationship with his child(ren). Try not to feel left out during his time alone with them. You're still loved. A parent that does not have full custody of their child(ren) should definitely have that time alone to bond solely with his children from time to time. Then there will be times you all bond together as a family.
4. Don't take Anything Personally - No one said having a blended family is a walk around the lake. Stepmoms, you must put your big girl undies on and put all insecurities aside and be confident in who you are and what you have. Your man must be able to communicate with the mother of his child(ren). Remember boundaries and stick to them.
5. Conduct Regular Family Meetings - Do this when everyone is present. It is important that all voices are being heard and opinions matter. Allow this time for everyone to talk out what is bothering them and come up with a solution as a family.
6. If You Are Dealing with A High Conflict Bio Mom - For your own Sanity and Peace, you may have to fall all the way back and understand that it is completely okay! Avoid feeling guilty. Don't take anything coming from Bio Mom personally and avoid forcing anything. Let your husband deal completely with Bio Mom and you be his support. Work together as a team and embrace your children and take care of your home. Never give anyone the power to control your life. Be free and by all means walk in love no matter what.
7. Pray, Pray, Pray!!! - Prayer changes things. Pray for your marriage, pray for your children and step children always. And if you're a real woman dealing with a high conflict bio mom, pray for her too. God work miracles.
Alright Stepmoms, best wishes! Use our share buttons and share this with every stepmom you know! If you are in need of private one on one coaching, please fill out the form and let's get started! Click here!
Joy and Blessings,
Certified Life and Marriage Coach